Change

Change...

I realized something a week or 2 ago while in my session with my spiritual counselor.  In my way of looking at things, change equals the end; a severing, never to be again.  This is why I am so afraid of change.  But that is not what change is.  Change is an evolving, a flowing of things to where they need to be and are supposed to be. 
Being with Zeus makes me happy; but I don't let myself be.  I'm always so afraid that this will be the last time we will ever be together, tomorrow I could never see him again, he'll leave and this time he won't come back.  In my quest of "healing Hera" (which really should be the name of this blog, and will probably be the title of my book I will write someday) I knew something had to change in our relationship, but I thought changing would mean I would have to sever all ties with him, never see him again, don't answer his phone calls.  No wonder I have been so scared and reluctant to do it!
With my new epiphany, I see that if I just go with the flow, and let our relationship evolve, then it will end up where it needs to be, we can still be "together", and I can just relax and enjoy the ride to somewhere in the middle. : ) 
Things seem to be more relaxed with us now.  I am more relaxed with us now.  I'm trying to bring the focus back to me; my blood sugars have gone up again, so I know that my body is telling me to focus on myself and everyone else will be ok.  I've started FLY Lady's system of housekeeping.  (Well, today is basically day 1, but at least I've started! lol)  I'm going to be writing more, to get into the habit of it.  I have seen a glimpse of my future, and I am going to be writing a book about my journey.  If I don't journal or blog, how am I going to remember all this stuff? 
Well, that's it for now.  Totally not what I planned on blogging about, but, it's what's in me at the moment.  Blessed Harvest Moon everyone!

get it together

I really need to get it together.  I mean, I've been doing loads of "higher stuff" - spirit work, getting Shamballah healings, working on balancing my yin and yang...  but I've kinda gotten into a funk.  I feel like I spend all day zombie-ing out to Facebook games.  I've been out of work for a good while now; I thought I would have had it all going on by now.  I haven't been writing, I have barely been reading, my shit is still not quite organized, it seems like house work just piles up on me.  I'm get overwhelmed very easily, and most days I'm on overload and even the tiniest things send me over the edge. 

But I have seen a glimpse of my future; I will write a book about my life.  All the struggles, mistakes, lessons learned, joys, gifts and insights that make up my journey. 

So I told myself I needed to start writing every day.  Blogging, journaling, whatever, I just need to do it.  My throat chakra has been cloudy; I have something to say.  But I feel like I never stop talking.  So I hope y'all don't mind hearing from me a little more often.  And if any of you happen to play Gardens of Time on Facebook... :D

Cool Ass Blog of the Week

OMG, I haven't been here in FOREVER!!! And for that I am sorry.  Sometimes I just feel like no one cares what I have to say, and other times I have so much to say, but am afraid to say it here, lest someone from my tiny town read it and start trouble.  But I'm really going to try harder to post more, and hope that someone likes it!

I follow many blogs.  It is hard to keep up with them all on a regular basis.  Yesterday, I chose one I liked and read the whole thing start to finish.  It's called "Zombie Mom's Undead Household Tips and Recipes". http://zombiemomsundeadtipsandrecipes.blogspot.com/ It is a really cool blog!  Zombie Mom is a bit obsessed with, well, zombies, duh! lol  She has posted pics of some really cute Halloween decorating ideas, which I want to try, like, now.  She says she starts decorating in August lol.  She seems like a real cool chick, and I hope that she continues to blog so I have something to do!  Please go and check her out at the link above and drop her a line!

(pic from her blog)

let's all go to a blog party!

Im not sure if this is how you "grab a button"  but you guys should take a look at this blog and her upcoming blog party!  It looks like a great time!

Thoughts Needed!

I am really interested in what you all think of this, so please comment away!

Ok, so on New Years Eve, I was "attempting" to meditate.  I say attempt, because I'm not sure if what I do is actually meditating.  So I was lying on the floor in front of my altar, which I had just decorated for Yemaya, and did some deep breathing.  Since I am a daughter of the Goddess, I usually only work with Feminine energy (except Anubis, but that's another story).  I was figuring I would think about Yemaya or Oya, or Aphrodite, as she is my latest pocket doll from Dancing Goddess Dolls.  But the only thing that kept repeating in my head was "Damballah... Damballah... Damballah..."  It wouldn't stop.  This has sort of happened before; it's how I met Aine.  I am a firm believer that there are no coincidences in life and if someone's name repeats in your head over and over, then someone is trying to tell you something. 
I kind of thought I was predisposed to thinking of Damballah, as I had picked up a book and was kind of skimming thru it and ended up on a guided meditation to commune with  Him.  I've read that book several times and was always a little intimidated by Him, so I kinda always skipped over that part.  I've done a little more reading about him and I can't figure out why He would want to get my attention.  What do you all think?  Has this ever happened to any of you?  Got any ideas?  I'm thinking about making an offering for Him on my altar of flour and a white egg.  He seems so vast (for lack of a better word) what would he want of me?  And why does a little white girl from the sticks keep attracting African/Voudoo/Santerian deities?  Please let me know what you think!