Monday, July 30, 2012

WHAT I LEARNED IN 2006 (A RECYCLED BLOG)

ok, so I used to blog on Myspace, and some of them were pretty funny, so I decided to put them up here for your reading enjoyment!


Things I learned in 2006
1) Never fuck a man with the same name as your mother
2) 2 words: PLATE TECTONICS
3) you can choose to find the best in everyone, but in the end they all turn out to be crazy as shit house rats
4) Jagermeister is yucky
5) people really do like and care about me
6) I don't really suck as bad as I think I do
7) ketchup is not a sex toy
8) Who my real friends are
9) never let a drunk person cut your hair
10) how to be a goddess
11) don't count 100% on the 'baby test' on choosing a man to be with (if the baby likes him, he must be good, right???)
12) what it feels like to (almost) get (almost) what you want
13) that my mom really does care
14) that I won't burn in hell for saying "FUCK" and listening to AC/DC
15) if someone leaves you when you need them most, they were never really yours in the first place
16) how to make an Excel spreadsheet
17) Dating one alcoholic is not much different from being married to another alcoholic; same shit, different guy
18) what it's like for once to be wanted because I am a good person not just a good fuck, and then to screw it up because all i wanted was to fuck
19) I really am stronger than I think I am
20) I've got it going on enough to pick up a hottie IN MY PAJAMAS
(go me, go me)
21) What it's like to be with a "bad boy"
22) Wrap your Stump before You Hump
23) no where is ever really safe
24) Sweet Cinnamon Pumpkin stuff from Bath and Body Works drives men crazy
25) how to be a player and to be played
26) men who are hurting tend to hurt others
27) some things (and people) never change
28) I CAN go places alone
29) Maybe I'm not as ready for a relationship as I thought I was
30) I was made in the image of the Goddess, and I am lovely in her sight
31) how to read Tarot cards
32) What it feels like to be treated well by a man
33) I am more than just a good fuck
34) I deserve to be treated well
35) It doesn't matter how many spells you do, if it is going to harm you, it won't work
36) that iPods ROCK
37) My Name is Earl is a really good show
38) When it comes to penises, it's either feast or famine
39) Sometimes when you play, you gotta pay
40) It is NOT ok to be hurt even if the guy stays with you
41) Movies that are not rated are better than Cinemax after 10PM
42) What an emo kid is
43) That I want to fuck Ami from Miami Ink
44) Just cuz a man hangs his coat up in the closet and puts his own clothes away does not mean he wont fuck you over or fuck you up
45) Spinach does taste good
46) What your mom tells you is really true: people pick on others because they are jealous
47) My favorite saying of 2006: "go fuck yaself"
48) How to milk a man- altho my attempt was unsuccessful
49) that being a witch/pagan ROCKS
50) the power of being a woman
51) Being pagan and believing in Jesus is not mutually exclusive
52) the power and peace of meditation
53) You shouldn't sleep with someone just because you feel obligated
54) what it's like to be on the leaving end of a one night stand (god, that's uncomfortable!! you men make it look so easy!)
55) Sometime, when I wasn't looking, I grew up... a lot 

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